Unconditional Lover.

BARNEY MILLER

(a.k.a. Barnzy, Barnz, Stink, StinkyFace, LoveBug, Psycho)

I love your tub of guts so much.

You are my main squeeze.

My best friend.

You sing me songs when I'm lonely,

and protect me a night when I'm scared.

I forgive you for chewing up my shoes,

Mom&Dad's wedding album,

the pool table legs,

my countless pairs of undergarments,

and all those mystery novels.

I'm sorry for spanking you when you peed in my room,

And giving you your dreaded bath.

I'm sorry for that devil of a gardener.

You know, the one that hit you in the head with a shovel.

(Mom and Dad got rid of him really quick.)

I vow to walk you more often,

And gift you more treats.

I wouldn't trade you for anything.

You are wonderful my faithful friend.

Again, I love you alway and forever.